When They Are Ready

Blessed are the man and the woman
who have grown beyond themselves
and no longer nourish illusions.

They delight in the way things are
and keep their hearts open, day and night.

They are like trees planted
by flowing rivers,
which bear fruit when they are ready.

Their leaves will not fall or wither.
Everything they do will succeed.

- Psalm 1, verses 1-3,
translated by Zen Buddhist Stephen Mitchell, from Into the Garden (1993)

For our wedding three New Year’s Eves ago, Matt and I chose two readings.  This translation was one.  The phrase which bear fruit when they are ready resonated with me from the moment I first found it, because, as friends and family can attest, I am not one to hurry or move quickly.  I have always worked and moved slowly (and carefully), and accomplished things when I was ready — much to the consternation of parents and advisors, I’m sure!

Matt and I have been waiting a long time to start a family.  We waited through the adventures and travel and questing and financial instability of our twenties.  We waited through deaths, illnesses, and upheaval in our families, and an illness of my own.  We waited through rough patches and uncertainty and interstate moves and intrastate moves and the chaos of graduate school and of Matt’s first years as a professor.

We waited until we had health and happiness and a home we loved, and life felt as right and good as it ever can.  Then we decided: we are ready.

And so, this Father’s Day, Matt and I announce with joy that our first child is due near the New Year!

From birth onward, this baby will move forward in the world when it is ready.

And we will be so happy to watch and cheer that child on with love, knowing from experience that a life lived on one’s own timeline is a very fine life indeed.