Four (or Thirteen) Years

Circle S Ranch, Lawrence, KS.  Photo by Bruce Snell.

Blessed are the man and the woman
who have grown beyond themselves
and no longer nourish illusions.

They delight in the way things are
and keep their hearts open, day and night.

They are like trees planted
by flowing rivers,
which bear fruit when they are ready.

Their leaves will not fall or wither.
Everything they do will succeed.

- Psalm 1, Verses 1-3, translated by Stephen Mitchell

New Year’s Eve: a wonderful night for celebration, a wonderful night for an anniversary!

Wishing you all a sparkling evening!


A Fussy Day Walk

B’s been having some fussy days.  Brand new teeth, a mystery food allergy (I actually think the culprit is grains, which are pretty new to him), and growing pains.  This morning, I strapped him into the stroller to watch the world go by together, hoping it would take his mind off of his baby worries.  Of course, I brought the baby carrier, too, because, well, often a walk that begins like this:

Ends like this:

Even when he is in a good mood!

He made it about 15 minutes before demanding the baby carrier.  I always enjoy an excuse to snuggle that baby boy, so we walked home with his head nestled under my chin and the stroller pushed along, empty, before us.

In complete earnestness, I say: these are the best days of my life.  I know in my heart that raising children is the most important thing I will ever do,  my biggest contribution to the world.  More important than anything I ever publish, than any service I ever provide, than any item I ever sell.  I am fascinated by children, by the biology of how they grow, by the process by which they become their own people.

Motherhood feels important to me.  Even the parenting tasks that are commonly maligned or belittled — changing diapers, soothing crying jags, washing sticky fingers, reading favorite books again and again — feel important to me, small pieces of the larger puzzle of good parenting, simple factors that, if multiplied deftly, result in the product of a happy family.

I spent years engaged in academic pursuits the world told me should be deeply fulfilling, but, to me, weren’t.  Now I spend my days engaged in domestic pursuits the world tells me shouldn’t be deeply fulfilling, but, to me, are.  It took becoming a mother to show me that a mother is what I was always meant to be.  I am so thankful to Bennett for bringing my heart to this place.

Especially on, and through, his fussy days.


The Choice

It’s been a decision a month (well, years, really) in the making, but finally it has been made!

I have chosen not to complete my dissertation.

Even so, there is real work to be done on the project before I hand it to others. Specifically, the remainder of the cataloguing of more than 45,000 bee specimens from my five field seasons in the desert.

Many folks are optimistic that when I finish that massive undertaking, I will decide to make a Master’s degree of it.  I am not chief among those folks, but I do join in their ranks.

There is much more to write about this place where I stand, at the intersection of career, community, family, and self.  But for now, those posts are on the back burner.

For now, my time is for my family and community.

And, one hour a day, for bees.

Oh, how right and surprisingly good this feels!


Choose

It’s been a matter of much discussion and thought as of late, this issue of whether I will finish my dissertation.

Every day, all day, it’s on my mind. In my head, I hear the words of those who love me, “It would be such a shame to have done so much work and not be credited for it!” I also hear the words in my heart, “It would be such a shame to stay on this path when the life you want awaits you on another.”

I was 24 when this whole PhD business began. I am 33 now. In the intervening years, a sea change has occurred in me.  In what I want for myself, what I value. What I think of academia, what I think of science. Where I want to take my life, and how I want to get there.

I’ve been telling myself: July is it. July is the month. You make a real effort to move on this dissertation, or you hand the data over and let it all go.

Today, I walked the house with Bennett in a sling, his legs folded like the Buddha, facing outward. He watched the house go by; I pondered the choice that lies before me. We passed the wall calendar, a work of beauty by Nikki McClure, each month assigned an action word and an accompanying image: behold, endeavor, expect, and the like. Today, June 30th.

“Tomorrow is July! Let’s change the calendar page!” I said to Bennett. “What will the word be?”

And there it was, like a directive from beyond myself, in capital letters, stark white against a black background:

CHOOSE.

I stood, looking at that word. Blinking. Stunned.

CHOOSE.

I kissed the top of Bennett’s head.

July. A good month to make a choice.


The Beaver Is Back!

Last year, as you might recall, we caught a beaver in action down by the lake.  Since the fateful night when we watched as he felled a tree in our backyard, we’d seen neither hide nor hair of the little guy, nor further evidence of his tree-chomping ways.

But yesterday, Matt called from the back steps, “I think I see the beaver swimming in the lake!”  By the time I joined Matt on the porch, all that remained of the beaver’s progress through the water were ripples on the surface.  We put Bennett in his wool hat (it was coolish) and into the sling, and off we went to investigate.

Turns out, down near the shore, the beaver has been busy sharpening his (or her) teeth!  The photo above shows a large tree he’d been working on — we think he realized he’d quite literally been trying to bite off more than he could chew.  (That, or he was just hungry for bark alone.)  But the littler trees below were no match for him!

Our fingers are crossed for another sighting…


Welcome, Bennett!

Introducing Bennett Christian
born one week ago today
12/11/10 at 10:53 PM
20 inches and 5 lb 15 oz (though over 6 lb 3 oz now!)

An ever-growing album of photos of Bennett can be viewed over on Flickr. He is healthy, sweet, and perfect — just perfect!  We are head-over-heels for him!


The ABC Baby Shower

In every way, the baby shower on Saturday was amazing!  Our Moms went all-out — the months of planning truly showed.  We had a wonderful time, and, based on all the smiles and laughter seen and heard, we think our guests did, too!

I usually like to feature just one photo per blog post here at A Life in Season, but I think this occasion merits a multi-photo post.  A huge thanks to Matt and our friend Neal for capturing these images!  More photos from the shower on Flickr.

The shower theme was the alphabet.  If you’re looking for ideas for a gender-neutral baby shower, the ABC theme is a great one!  A set of wooden Playskool alphabet blocks from Matt’s childhood served as our Moms’ inspiration.  Matt’s mom brought them to the shower, and now they live at our house, ready for our little one!

The shower evite featured the lovely alphabet print above from Ink Tree Press.

The Favors. Little treats for shower guests, in honor of our little Virginia peanut.  I love the ABC-block card holders that my mom’s partner Keith made for the occasion.  The holders were used to present menu cards on the food table, as well:

The Food Table. Adorning the table were brightly-wrapped boxes featuring ABC and XYZ (and our initials, too!), plus colorful placemats scattered with alphabet letter stickers.

The Menu. Lemonade spritzers, beer, wine, and pomegranate mimosas; olive, tomato, and cheese skewers (the cheeses were manchego and iberico – yum!); white bean dip with rosemary and sage; roasted red pepper hummus; crackers and pita chips; vegetable crudites; veggie pinwheels; steak au poivre crostini; and a fruit arrangement.

The Dessert. Cupcakes from Carrot Tree Kitchens, accompanied by coffee and tea served in pink china cups from my grandmother and blue china cups from Matt’s mother.

Window Ribbons. The windows were decorated with alphabet letter ribbons featuring baby-related words, such as blanket, rattle, high chair, carseat, doula, and my favorite: midwife!

One super-special aspect of the shower: both our doula and one of our midwives were able to attend!  We were thrilled and honored to have them there.

Shower Game. The shower game was Nursery Rhyme Jeopardy — it was truly a hit!

THANK YOU, Barbara and Melissa, for treating us all to a beautiful afternoon!  And thank you to our sixteen guests who made the party a warm, joyous celebration!


False Cape’s Littlest Frog

For three years, we’ve been meaning to backpack to False Cape State Park via Back Bay National Wildlife Refuge.

This spring, we told ourselves, “This summer we’ll do it, when it’s good beach weather!”

This summer, we told ourselves, “This fall, we’ll do it, when the mosquitoes and biting flies have retired for the season!”

Last week, we took a hard look at our calendar — which told us that my third trimester was about to begin — and also at the False Cape rules and regulations, which told us that False Cape would be closed for wildlife management for part of October and that the trail through Back Bay would be closed from November through spring.

We looked at each other and exclaimed, “If this trip is going to happen before the little one comes, it’s got to happen now!”

And so, we packed our packs (well, Matt kindly undertook most of that job as I worked through the weekend preparing for my upcoming committee meeting — thank you, Matt), and on Monday, we headed out on an overnight adventure through Virginia’s southernmost coast.

False Cape State Park is accessible only by foot, bike, or boat: a 6.2 mile hike (or bike) in, a 6.2 mile hike (or bike) out.  We went by foot.  It was wonderful!  Perfect, really.  Cool weather and gentle breezes.  Marshland and maritime forest.  Snowy egrets and painted turtles.  Dunes and waving grasses.  Ocean waves and sandy shores.  Sandpipers and scuttling crabs.  A private campsite sheltered by live oaks — we were the only campers! — and miles and miles of beautiful beach, with no other humans in sight.

In the coming days, a series of photos of these sights will appear here.  But first: this shot of the tiny frog who popped up from the drinking water spigot at False Cape’s brand-new visitor center.

Entirely too adorable!


Six Months!

Six months along!  I am loving being pregnant these days — the second trimester is a joy.  Recently, I was asked, “What has been your favorite part of being pregnant?”  My answer: sharing my body with the baby.  When I eat nutritious foods, or go on long walks, or do prenatal yoga, or get a good night’s sleep, or breathe deeply, or laugh with happiness, I love to think that each action helps make my body a good home for the baby, nurturing him or her, helping him or her grow.  I adore feeling the baby move: the nudges and bumps, the rolls and — for the first time this week — hiccups, all of which serve as wonderful reminders that the little one is indeed with me, and doing well.

Matt and I have decided to wait until the birth — near the New Year — to learn the baby’s sex.  It has been a wonderful decision for us!  We love the mystery, the not-yet-knowing.  In the modern world, so often we demand instant answers to our every question, but delayed gratification, and the wonder and anticipation that attend it, most certainly have their merits!

In anticipation of taking many future baby photos, Matt and I splurged and bought something we’ve wanted for a long time: a digital SLR camera.  (All my other photos on the blog?  Yep.  Point-and-shoot.)  We are still learning the ropes, but are having lots of fun in the process!  This afternoon, we took this backyard shot ourselves and are quite pleased.  Next time, we’ll remember to hide the remote control. ;)

Hoping your September is off to a wonderful start!


Saturday Bouquet

After the Farmer’s Market, we stopped for a few minutes to sit in the shade of a nearby community flower garden.  A bright red cardinal hopped along the stone path, vibrant against the gray.

“Look, a male cardinal!” I said.

“And a female, too,” said Matt.  I did a double take, and sure enough, there she was alongside her mate, her plain feathers blending into the background.

“Maybe this is their home,” I said.

Both birds were foraging.  As we watched, the male found food and brought it to the female, who gently took it from him.  They appeared to kiss.

It was very sweet.


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 41 other followers